I am alive and well. :) I've been doing very well with my struggle lately. I'm happy to report that I'm still on track to meet my 2/27 goal! Thank you, Jesus! I would also like to that those that have been coming to my blog and for you comments. It makes me happy to know that I'm helping, even just a few people, in a small way. I ask to you keep coming back and commenting and I will try my best to keep this updated. I will try to update it every Monday or Tuesday night.
Kate,
Thank you for your comment. I hope that you keep coming back. The reason that my story sounds similar to your husbands is because this addiction traps men in mostly the same way. Now, everybody is different and so are there specific struggles with pornography, but after I started to talk to other addicts and read books and blogs, I discovered that every man's story is about 90% the same! In some ways though, that's good news for you and your husband. You are absolutely not alone! Your husband is not a freak or crazy. He has a serious problem, but the fact is that millions of men have the very same problem and many have made, or are making very good progress to overcome it. It's not an easy road, believe me, for you or your husband! It takes faith in God and a lot of hard work.
I do plead with you not to leave your husband! He needs your support. For you wives out there, you are one of the biggest supports for your husband. Don't try to be their counselor. Trust me, that is a bad idea. However, they do need to know in their heart that you are there and will continue to be, and that you believe in them. Encourage them, set boundaries when they don't seem to be able, but always be faithful to them and trust in them that they are trying to get better. They aren't going to get better overnight, and it's unreasonable to expect them to. As long as you can see signs that they are trying and are making even minimal progress, you can know that things are getting better.
The number 1 key to overcoming this addiction is Jesus!
God is faithful to help.
Deuteronomy 7:9 (New Living Translation)
9 Understand, therefore, that the Lord your God is indeed God. He is the faithful God who keeps his covenant for a thousand generations and lavishes his unfailing love on those who love him and obey his commands.
Philippians 1:6 (New International Version)
6being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
Matthew 5:27-29 (New Living Translation)
Teaching about Adultery
27 “You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’[a] 28 But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 So if your eye—even your good eye[b]—causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.
(Don't actually gouge out your eyes! :) Verse 29 is just saying to you that you need set boundries and get rid of those things in your life that make you stumble. Even if it's something valuable, getting rid of it is better than going to hell.)
These words should be taken to heart for everyone, but especially people that already have an addiction to pornography. God's commandment, says that you can not commit adultery, and that anyone who breaks this commandment or any other shall not enter the kingdom of Heaven. Make no mistake that when you look at porn in God's eyes you just had sex with that woman, and you will not be able to go to heaven. The bad news is that you broke the law and saying sorry isn't going to cut it. The good news is, Jesus has already paid the fine for your crime against God!
Let me make an analogy. You are in court and have been convicted of multiple crimes, and the fine for your release is $500,000. Now, if you say your sorry to the judge, is he going to let you go? No, of course not. He won't let you go until either the time has been served or the fine has been paid. Now, what if someone came into that court room and paid the $500,000? Would the judge let you free? Yes.
This is EXACTLY what Jesus did by dying on the cross! Isn't that great? You broke the law and Jesus paid with his life for your sin. All you have to do to be free is to repent (turn your ways away from sin) and trust in Jesus as your savior (acknowledge that he's the one that paid your fine). Now you're saying, "What if I slip and sin again"? Good news! Jesus is so loving that as long as you keep confessing what you did and ask for forgiveness, Jesus will ALWAYS forgive no matter how many times you slip.
Psalm 103:12 (New Living Translation)
12 He has removed our sins as far from us
as the east is from the west.
All you have to do right now to get right with God is to pray to him (it doesn't matter what the words are as long as they are true from your heart) and acknowledge that Jesus died for you, confess your sin, and ask for forgiveness. If you do this truly from your heart, God will forgive you and you will be written into the book of life.
John 3:16-21 (New Living Translation)
16 “For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. 17 God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him.
Revelation 3:5 (New Living Translation)
5 All who are victorious will be clothed in white. I will never erase their names from the Book of Life, but I will announce before my Father and his angels that they are mine.
