Response to a comment

This is directed to "L" for the comments that she posted. I felt that this response should be shared.

First, just take a breath and gather yourself. You just found out about this 4 months ago, and you haven't figured out how to sort your emotions out yet. You have the right to feel all of the emotions that you are feeling (my wife and I had the same experience when I told her). Just be careful to sort out the irrational thoughts.
Now, before I continue with the core issue, I want to address something you mentioned. You asked, "why aren't my prayers being answered?" I assume you meant it as a rhetorical question, but I'm going to address it anyway. No, I'm not God and I can't know God's mind, but I do have a Bible and believe it to be the divinely inspired word of God. First, God's answers to prayer are not always OUR answers. God may be healing your boyfriend, but it's not going to be the overnight transformation that you, and my wife, wanted. Second, and I mean absolutely no offense toward you or any other catholic personally, but I have great concern for all of you. I believe the catholic church is gravely off the path with God. Many of the doctrine it teaches is not Biblical and some of it actually goes AGAINST the Bible. You said you prayed the rosary. To the best of my understanding, portions of that ask the virgin Mary to pray to God for you. That is totally wrong. See this page for a pretty thorough explanation as to why. Mary didn't die on the cross for you. Jesus died for you. He is the only one you should be praying to. You need to have a personal relationship with Jesus. There are many other things that I could go on about with catholicism (and would be happy to if you would like sometime), but I want to get back to the core issue here.

There are some things that I can't really give you an answer on.
I'm not a doctor, nor do I have any medical training, so as to the neurological syndrome you mentioned I can't really answer. I guess it makes sense that it could make it harder for him to recover, but I can tell you it's not the source of the problem.
Looking at pornography does not have the same affects as drugs, but masturbation does. I promise you that if he is addicted to porn, that he masturbates. When you masturbate a chemical is released into your brain that is the same as when you take crack/cocaine. Your brain gets addicted to that chemical and the desire for that chemical is triggered when you see or think of what you were doing that last time it was released. So, there is both a physical and psychological aspect to pornography addiction and sex addiction.
I can't say to you that he will or won't have an affair. I don't know him. I can say that I've met several men in addiction group that have had affairs. I can also say that I have not.
Should you brake up with him until it's sorted out. I discourage married couples to get divorced, but it is quite clear in the Bible that infidelity is the ONLY excuse for divorce. I believe the Bible and God when he says that he hates divorce, and that ALL other reasons for divorce are sin. To couples that aren't married, especially ones that have only been together a short time, I say it's your call. I don't know either of you, nor the dynamic of your relationship. I don't know true motives or intentions. I suggest seeking advice from someone whom you know and trust.

Try not to associate this problem and his love for you. I realize what I'm asking sounds impossible and ridiculous, but the more you try the easier it will be for both of you. YES, it IS possible for a man to have this problem and to LOVE his girlfriend/wife. Men, I know you know exactly what I mean. Women, I know you think that I sound crazy! Men and women's minds are just built differently. Women have the brain that wants to associate everything. Men have the brain that can compartmentalize everything (i.e. Wife is in box one, porn is in box two). Men can open and close and combine any of the boxes he wants. I realize this is hard to grasp, but the more you try the easier it will be to understand what you husband/boyfriend is saying to you and the less emotionally exhausted you will become.

Yes, it is very, very hard to just not go to a website. This is an addiction. Consider this: You know a cocaine addict. He really wants to quit, but there is a baggy of it that he walks past everyday. Many times per day even. Would you expect him to just stop with that sitting around? Would you expect him to be able to just not think about it when he walks by? Would you expect him to not have the urge to use again when he sees it? Would you expect him to have the will power to NEVER slip again? Porn is you boyfriend's cocaine, and the baggy is his computer, or the store that carries his magazines, or the porn shop/strip club he drives by everyday to and from work. I'm not saying that you should be OK with him slipping, just don't throw everything out the window and assume that he must not love you every time that he does.

I could go on for hours and hours about everything that I've experienced and what the Bible has to say. There are so many different things to consider. I suggest that you both go down to your local Christian book store and buy Every Man's Battle. It's very important to read and educate yourselves on this subject. How can you beat something you know nothing about?

Lastly Pray! Pray to Jesus your risen Lord. He died on the cross for all of us to forgive us of our sins. Jesus is our advocate to God. Pray for each other and with each other. Don't make a ritual out of prayer (i.e. the rosary). If you do, at least make it 100% about God. He is the only one Holy enough and deserving of our prayers.